Of The Could-Have-Beens

“I would be in control”, I had always thought,
Once I finish school. College saw me confident
Of being on top of things, looking ahead
Into the unlived future hollering, “Bring it on”!
While I lazed in pursuit of my Masters
There were dreams of an easy job
Carpets laid out ahead for me to walk to success.
Now two staccato jobs old-both wanted and liked-
Soon Steam eloped with an outgrown me.

Today, in the shower where I reason things out
The “balance” of life hit me
Of real compromises necessary
To tip the balance in your “favour”.
In your favour, really?

I watch as multiple little dreams float
Some away, some towards me
My situation cannot afford them all
Picking through them I envision
The rapturous peace of perfection
Of the could-have-beens.