Butterflies flit
Leaving shivering leaves in their wake
Water drips tense like sweat
And air holds its breath
Willing all noise to quiet down
I did notice earlier
And I am wondering now
Did they pre-empt my condition?
Contrary to popular belief
Pointlessness is a calm feeling
Only negative.
The loneliness, solid in its intensity
Weighs me down, its lead boots to my head
White noise funnels into me
Hollowing out instead of filling
The certainty, the singleness
Of that settling sadness
Like drying concrete.
My world zooms into my loneliness
It is fade out for everything else.
It is nothing more than a feeling
My feeling, because outside I see
I see the world go on around me
Go on like nothing changed
And my life, the entirety of my years
Compresses into a lead ball, the size of a pill
Heady with side effects.
It makes my tongue thick
And my voice echo
It twists my legs and hurts my throat.
I feel everything and then suddenly
Nothing.
I look around and I recognise afterlife
But sadly for you its
“Authorised Personnel Only” from here on.